Denice's Story:  A Set Up for “Failure”

Denice was 27 when she gave birth to her first of two children.  Although she developed a satisfying nursing relationship with her second child, she weaned her first due to poor information and little support.  In her case, nipple confusion from the onset was the kiss of death. 

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I put my newborn daughter to my breast and she wouldn’t stop crying.  “She’s probably allergic to your milk,” the nurse said.[1]  “How can that be when I don’t even have milk for the first few days?” I asked.

“Oh it won’t hurt to give her a little bit of a bottle and it may help to calm her.” 

I was exhausted from delivery, my baby had cried and cried, my husband had gone home to sleep, and I was by myself.  So I gave her a bottle.

Once at home I would try to nurse her and then introduce the bottle afterward.  I kept trying to latch her on – incorrectly - and she spit up blood from my sore, cracked nipples.  Eventually we worked through that, but she still didn’t know what to expect from me, given the inconsistency of going back and forth from bottle to breast. 

I knew I needed to be consistent and give up one or the other, but I couldn’t find the help I needed.  Everyone told me that bottle-feeding was easier, so, when she was about two months old, that’s what I did.  I continued to nurse her for the 7:00 a.m. feeding until she was about four months-old, but from that point on I switched completely to the bottle. 

For six months I pumped and then changed to formula.  She had so many digestive problems afterward that the pediatrician suggested I only breastfeed my next children. 

How moms adjust when they get home depends on how they were supported in the hospital and what kind of information they were given.  It had a profound impact on me.  It set me up for failure, added to my anxiety and stress level, and encouraged me not to trust my mothering instincts. 

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