Vicki's Story:  I Needed to Prove Myself

We found out about the pregnancy three days after our marriage and I was only 20 when my daughter was born.  The people around me having babies were these 30 year-old women who had everything together.  I felt like I needed to prove myself.  Breastfeeding gave me something in common with mothers of any age, where we could sit down together and they would know that I made the same parenting choices as they did.  It made me feel like I was accepted as a woman, as opposed to being seen as a teenager and it’s made me a more mature, responsible, confident mother.

When Megan was first born, I put a lot of pressure on myself to show people, especially my mother, that I was mature and prepared enough to be able to care for my daughter the way anybody of any age would - a mature adult.  I had read a lot about breastfeeding, felt prepared, and had lined up all this support, but when I had sore nipples and was really engorged, I didn’t use it.  I didn’t phone any of the La Leche League leaders to say, “Help, what should I do?” I guess I felt pressure to show my mom that I knew what I was doing, that I was confident and didn’t need help.   I also felt like my problems were so normal and trivial that I didn’t want to bother anyone by asking questions about it.

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